Memo to Santa Claus, Chief Delivery Driver

Memo

From:   Mr Colin Shun, Fleet Manager, S Claus Haulage Ltd., The Grotto, Christmas Hill, Lapland

To:       S Claus, chief delivery driver

Date:    Yuletide 2010

Before embarking on the most important delivery of the year please would you remember to comply with these procedures, as recommended by our fleet risk management partners, AA DriveTech:

Prior to departure:

• Several driver risk assessments flagged up a medium risk of altitude sickness. Concentrate at all times and take a break every couple of hours.
• Remember to follow AA DriveTech’s advice – plan the journey beforehand and never attempt to reset the santa-nav whilst you’re driving.
• The driver must have taken part in a Skid Control course prior to departure and be familiar with all driving techniques required to remain safe in icy conditions.
• A licence check must have been completed in the last 12 months and all drivers be in possession of a valid licence for a sleigh [Code: SL A1].
• An AA DriveTech Corporate Risk Assessment has been carried out since last Christmas so please note the new requirement to complete a yuletide mileage log.
• The driver himself must be able to demonstrate that he:
  • has had a recent eye sight check. Rose tinted spectacles are permitted.
  • is not suffering from fatigue. It’s going to be a long night.
  • will not tempted by offerings of ridiculously sweet sherry.
  • has had a familiarity session on this particular vehicle.
  • has received practical training on entering and exiting chimneys.
• The driver must be aware that our new, multi-delivery ABS (Always Blinking Stopping) brakes may not be effective in snow and ice.

During the delivery journey itself:

• Be certain to comply with AA DriveTech’s advice about not eating mince pies whilst driving your sleigh.
• The driver must be prepared for side winds, particularly if they plan a short cut through the Milky Way, and follow AA DriveTech’s advice for combating them.
• In accordance with the drivers’ manual, Santas are obliged to give way to passenger jets at all times.
• The driver must stick to the speed limits (10,000 mph in re-restricted areas, 1000 mph only over towns). We don’t want you ending up on one of AA DriveTech’s Speed Awareness Courses.
• When parking the sleigh to unload presents remember to reverse park.
• Keep the noise down – we had a lot of complaints last year about those bells jangling incessantly. As for that ridiculous “Ho, Ho, Ho.....”
• Be courteous to other open sky users at all times. Don’t forget that the livery on the side of the vehicle is a flying advert for our brand.

If you comply with this guidance you’ll be entitled to a 364 day holiday!

Issued by AA DriveTech Communications in association with autoproactive.

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DriveTech (UK) Limited is a wholly owned subsidiary of AA Corporation Limited, a company registered in England and Wales (Reg. Number 03797747